Credit to Fawnalie !
— Midnight Thoughts (I got lucky with you)
I would like to be a soft place for myself to land again
- Me: I'm going as an angel!
- Guy: Wow! You don't even need to dress up then!
Your parents have gone through the notebooks in your desk drawer every Sunday since you left for school
To remind themselves what to pray for,
Stacks of paper full of stick figures with the heads blacked out in charcoal pencil
If it is Saturday night, Sunday morning
You are wondering if you love her or a small body to cry when you make mistakes
That is not your body,
A voice outside of yourself telling you
You are destroying matter things,
A text message asking where you’ve been all afternoon so you can say
You’ve been walking for two hours in the same direction and don’t know how to get back
But there’s a hut out here that looks kind of like Hagrid’s house
And probably dead things inside,
You are always presenting problems, never offering solutions
Like some kind of government,
It seems as though your feelings get hurt easier every day and also
Is everyone always this constantly aware of their mortality?
You are convinced if someone borrowed your brain for 12 hours
They would return it breathless, say
‘how could someone live like this’
you and your friends only say you love each other when you’re drunk
which is happy because it means it is true
but sad because you are only honest when you know you’ll be able to attribute everything
to some ghost of yourself the next morning,
say you don’t even remember what happened,
guileless out of body experience,
like girls only kind to each other within the confines of house party bathroom walls
where no boys can rail in
and watch us ruin each other for sport
DON’T READ POEMS AFTER A BREAK UP
and forget the night before
but I’ve learned you
can never drink enough
to forget the people
you’ve loved and lost.
"I’m still here
And I still love you.”