"You can only fit so many words in a postcard, only so many into space before you forget that words are sometimes used for something other than filling emptiness." -Sarah Kay

Myself
If you must see my face, click here
Personal Posts (Aka Rants.)
Specific Writing

angelsmusings:

the-writing-writer-wrote:

I regret
not kissing
you longer.

I regret 
kissing you
as long as I did.

+ 329
"Words can be like X-rays if you use them properly — they’ll go through anything. You read and you’re pierced."
Aldous HuxleyBrave New World (via feellng)

ksdjkldjfskldklsfjklsfdjkl

We’re sitting at her table and her parents aren’t home
and she’s telling me about how she only slept with him because
she wanted to feel something asides from fear when she’s around
him. And I choke down a cry because she’s bleeding internally
and all I can do is sit back and watch her insides become tainted
in the blood they’re trying so hard to keep hidden.

She says, “I don’t know how to make it stop, please please help
me because I don’t know how to not suffocate,
all I’ve ever done is die in my own saliva because I couldn’t
speak with my lips sewed shut. Please I don’t know what to do
with my hands when they stain everything I touch. Please
I can’t kiss without biting him hard enough to scar.”

She says, “I don’t know how to quit choking on the very air
my lungs need to breath. Please, I can’t stop tying nooses in
the loose fabric of my sheets. I’m trying but trying isn’t good
enough when good enough equals perfect. I’m strangling
myself in attempts at being okay,
but I’m failing.”

And she shows me how to make art out of skin with scissors
made for little kids and tells me how scary it is not to hurt when hurting
is the only human thing left inside of you and I just nod
and I can’t help the cat if he refuses to eat,
and I wish I wish I wish I could but I can’t.

And she cries in my arms and I wonder how long it’s been this
bad, I wonder if her insides are a TNT bomb just waiting for a match,
I wonder if she realizes her blood is so much more than red paint,
and I pray she knows that if it keeps getting worse,

it’s bound to get better eventually.

+ 21

Tbh, I’m stressed out beyond belief.

There’s dirt under my fingers for how many graves
I had to dig for my past selves;

one for the quiet baby who never learned
a voice can be the safety on a gun if used correctly,

one for the kid who tore herself apart like she was
a Build-A-Bear,

one for the little girl who stood defiantly with crossed-arms
and shady eyes protecting her heart at all costs,

one for the depressed me who fought hand and foot just
to remain in constant shell of awful,

one for the smiling teen who fell in love with a boy
made of broken glass and beautiful eyes.

And there’s so many more to have to dig,
so many more people to become,
I’d hate to just stop at this one.

+ 19

My mom warned me about boys like you,
with your eyes that shine brighter than the stars
in the night sky and a smile that makes your heart
skip beats like you’ve developed an arrhythmia.

But I’ve never liked the word no, it stains your
mouth with an awful taste. And I’ve always enjoyed
bruised knuckles and a torn rib cage when it’s
tainted in worthiness.

See I came home that day with a bleeding heart
bruised knees sadness eating my stomach
and regret pooling out of my chest quicker than blood.

My mom warned me about boys like you,
but I’ve never listened, only learned for myself.

+ 27

alfaazkibarsaaat:

I am scared scared scared
there is a backyard in my brain 
with hammocks and bubbles and wagging tails 
but I can’t make it past the unwelcome mat 
I am too much balloon 
too little steady ground 
I am too much pedal 
too little break 
to ride this cycle without breaking down 
teeth touching tar 
handlebar to hips 
road trip and lips 

Meet me at the mouth mouth mouth 
I have so much to say 
it’s spilling out my sides
I see you like a stranger I already know 
I know why you’re here but 
you are a memory I’m still trying to understand 
still trying to stand without it echoing down my spine 
you are not mine 

All I am finding is the hard hard hard 
to stay here 
to keep on 
to look you in the eyes 
without sliipping into seven year old sight 
when there was so much bright bright bright 
I didn’t know it was actually black black black 

I am unedited 
I am rough edges 
Nibbled nails 
No rhymes 
all bone

I am shaking shaking 
leaving
all gone

+ 63
"People who believe they’ll be happy if they go and live somewhere else, learn it doesn’t work that way. Wherever you go, you take yourself with you."
Neil Gaiman (via psych-facts)
"Trust your silence. For what words cannot explain, the universe somehow will."
+ 281
"It does not matter
If I call this
The space between my thoughts
Or a boxing fight
Where only one of us has gloves

You are still not here"
denial (via wordsileftbehind)
+ 39